What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted
by sailor silvimoon
Summary: Time – season two, R breakup. Lyrics of the song included. Warning: death of the character. Not for children.


Title: **WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKENHEARTED  
**Type: One shot  
Pairing: Usagi, Inner Senshi, Mamoru  
Genre: Tragedy, Friendship  
Rating: T (just to be safe)  
Status: Complete  
Summary: Time – season two, R breakup. Lyrics of the song included. Warning: death of the character. Not for children.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Sailor Moon or the song.

**AN/** This story was sitting on my computer for two years now, and since I have this horrible writers block and can't focus on my newest projects, I decided to give it a try on my old ones. I have to say that I'm not quite satisfied, but hey, at least I have something for you. Right? Now, about this song. Ever since I watched Ally McBeal, I loved the songs that were there. So this song seemed perfectly for this story.

Song lyrics: Vonda Sheppard: Heart And Soul: What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted

Please tell me what you think.

NOTE: _italic are the lyrics, letters and thoughts_

/

_As I walk this land of broken dreams  
I have visions of many things  
Love's happiness is just an illusion  
Filled with sadness and confusion_

"This is taking too long! Two months!" Makoto said. "We have to do something!"

She was sitting with Ami, Rei and Minako in their usual booth in the Crown Arcade. They were waiting for Usagi, who was, as usual, late.

"We have to intervene." Ami suggested.

"But how and do what exactly? She doesn't want to talk about it, she closed herself. She just gave up! Something happened two nights ago and it wasn't good."

Minako, who was listening other girls quietly whispered. "She is hurting and I'm afraid we can't do anything about it. You know that I can sense emotions, right? Especially if they are in relation to love?" Everyone nodded, so she continued. "I could feel her happiness when she was with Mamoru and her hurt when he broke up with her, but she was determined to win him back. Well, two nights ago I felt something. I think, as we are so connected to Usagi we can feel what she feels. So, I've concentrated on her and I felt physical pain. I don't know how to describe it but I couldn't stand it. It was so strong... I cried all night..."

"You felt something like a stab in the heart, didn't you?" Rei asked and Minako only nodded.

"You felt it too?" Ami and Makoto asked.

"Like I said, we are connected to her by friendship as well as a senshi, and because she is also our princess we can feel what she feels. That worries me."

"Why?

"Because Makoto, I think she might do something to herself."

_What becomes of the brokenhearted  
Who had love that's now departed  
I know I've got to find  
Some kind of peace of mind, maybe_

After that no one said a word. Suddenly Rei looked up just in time when Mamoru walked in with Chibiusa. Her face instantly went dark.

"It's because of him!" She whispered.

Ami and Makoto turned, their worried expressions replaced with hateful.

Minako looked through the window and saw Usagi slowly walking toward the Arcade. "Oh my God! She is coming here! What do we do?"

But they didn't have time to think because Chibiusa hooped to them dragging Mamoru with her. "Hi guys! What's up?" She asked the four girls, oblivious of the sudden change of the atmosphere, but Mamoru noticed their looks and gulped.

/

_The fruits of love grow all around  
But for me they come tumbling down  
Everyday heartaches grow a little stronger_

He didn't want to come here but Chibiusa pleaded him and he couldn't say no. He hoped he wouldn't bump into Usagi and so far he was lucky. He hated himself for lying to her, constantly saying that he doesn't love her anymore but he had to do it. The nightmares he had every night tormented him even through the day. Two days ago was the last straw. When he saw the pain on her face...

"Oh, hi Chibiusa! Where were you?" Girls greeted her, pointedly ignoring Mamoru. He understood.

"Well, Mamo-chan helped me with my homework so we came here to take a quick bite and then we are going to the lake for a walk. Right Mamo-chan?"

Suddenly, the air changed. Everyone turned towards the door and there she was. Usagi went pale when she heard Chibiusa addressing the love of her life by the nickname she gave him. In only a moment she noticed shocking faces of her friends and hear their gasps, Mamoru and Chibiusa hand in hand, his blue eyes on her...

Slowly she turned and walked away. She could hear their shouts and she ran away from them. Trying to hide, she entered in an abandoned building that was set for demolition later that month, sat on the floor and started to cry. She couldn't take the pain anymore. It was too much.

_I can't stand this pain much longer  
I walk in shadows searching for light  
Cold and alone, no comfort in sight  
Hoping and praying or someone to care  
Always moving and going nowhere_

/

Back in the arcade, the girls were shooting daggers from their eyes toward Mamoru and he couldn't blame them. He winced when he saw Usagi and how pale and fragile she looked. What he saw in her eyes, even if it was only for a second, scared him and it broke his heart. _'You did that to her!_' his inside voice told him.

"Mamo-chan? What's wrong?" Chibiusa asked worriedly. She could sense something was not right. When she heard girl's gasps and felt Mamoru stiff, she was sure something was wrong. She turned and when she saw Usagi all pale, something in her heart cringed. She watched the girls ran past her after Usagi shouting her name. She looked up at Mamoru only to see tears in his eyes, and she didn't know what to do. She squeezed his hand and he looked down at her.

"Let's go home." He said tiredly and she nodded.

/

"Where is she?" Rei asked in panic.

Ami was typing something in her computer but then close it. "I'm sorry. I can't find her. She is blocking us."

Suddenly, Minako, who was focusing her powers on Usagi, dropped to her knees gasping for air.

"MINAKO!" The rest of girls shouted and ran toward her.

Minako barely managed to whisper through her teeth "I can't take it any more! The pain...it's too much!" before she passed out.

"Minako! Please? Wake up!" They cried.

After what seamed like forever Minako opened her eyes.

"Minako! You're awake! Thank god!" Rei cried and hugged her.

"What happened?" She asked looking at the scared faces of her closest friends.

"You said something that you can't take the pain and then you fainted."

"Oh, yes. The pain. I remember now. It's…" She couldn't finish the thought and Rei, sensing what it was, finished instead.

"Usagi."

Minako only nodded then whispered through the tears that started to fall.

"I'm afraid."

"Why? Makoto frowned. She will be alright. She just needs some time."

"Are you saying that because you believe in it or you're trying to convince yourself?"

"I don't know." Came the answer.

/

The next day after school, the girls gathered in the park. Makoto was informing Rei that Usagi was not present all day. Ami was typing on her computer, and after awhile, she happily announced.

"I've fond her!"

When they got to the destination Ami's computer pinpointed, Makoto frowned.

"Ami, are you sure?"

They were standing in front of an abandoned building. After Ami's confirmation, the girls carefully entered and the site froze them in place. Usagi was lying on the floor, covered with the blood, and her breathing was shallow. Next to her head was a big part of the wall that apparently fell on Usagi. Ami scanned her and found a deep cut on the back of her head.

"We have to get her to the hospital. I can't treat this. She'd lost a lot of blood and I can't tell how deep it is. My mother works in one just few blocks from here."

Makoto, being the strongest one, picked Usagi and few minutes later, they were in front of the hospital. Ami called her mother while they were on their way and was glad she was on duty. Surprisingly, she didn't asked any questions and the girls were very glad for that. Ami's mother secured a room for them after treating Usagi's head wound; knowing that the girls were close and there was no way they would go home. And Usagi wasn't showing she would wake up any time soon.

_What becomes of the brokenhearted  
Who had love that's now departed  
I know I've got to find  
Some kind of peace of mind, baby  
_

Hours passed, the girls haven't moved from the blonde's bed. Sometime, in the middle of the night, they heard a groan and Usagi opened her eyes. She felt disoriented, thirsty and week. Looking around she recognized a hospital room and sighed. Immediately, she was surrounded by four worried pair of eyes.

"Water." She whispered hoarsely.

"Usagi! Thank God you're awake! We were so worried!" Minako hugged her happily and Ami went to find her mother after kissing her forehead.

"What happened? Why am I in the hospital?" Usagi asked.

"We found you in some abandoned building. You've lost a lot of blood so we brought you here." Makoto answered.

"The main question is what were you doing there in the first place?" Rei asked, anger replaced desperation. Seeing her friend in a pool of blood and lying in the hospital bed without waking up were the worst moments of her life. She felt desperate, she felt like she failed in her duty to protect the most precious thing in her life. And she hated feeling that way. She hated feeling helpless.

Usagi was spared of answering because Ami walked in with her mother behind. After the examination, it was decided Usagi should stay for two more days due to the concussion. Thankfully, her parents weren't home, so she didn't have to explain anything.

/

Days passed. Usagi looked like a zombie. Her last meeting with Mamoru was repeating itself in her mind. His words _'I don't want to be with you, I don't love you and never had!'_ broke her heart. She couldn't eat, she barely spoke a word. Luna tried to talk to her but with no success. Even her mother was worried and she called the girls to try cheering her up. She was wrong. They could only watch as their best friend silently sat on the bed, slowly fading away.

"Usagi, you can't live like this." Minako said as they were leaving. "Please, we need you! We need you to be your old self. Find that girl again."

Usagi didn't said a word. She just looked at Minako who winced seeing her eyes. There was nothing in them. She was like an empty shell.

"Usagi? Please? We need you!" She cried.

Her response was closing her eyes, and Minako knew her words didn't get through her friend.

However, there was one sentence that repeated itself in Usagi's mind.

_'You can't live like this.'_

_'You can't live like this.'_

_'You can't live like this.'_

_'Can't live like this.'_

_'Can't live…'_

/

_I'm searching though I don't succeed  
But someone look, there's a growing need  
Oh he is lost, there's no place for beginning  
All that's left is an unhappy ending  
_

Morning came and Usagi got up, carefully, trying not to wake Luna. However, the school was not on her mind. Far from it. She spent her morning visiting every pharmacy in the town. She considered herself happy that no one questioned her purchase. Her school bag was full of sleeping pills. Her next stop was the park. She found a nice, secluded place by the lake and started writing. She had three letters to write. One for her parents, one for the girls and the last one for Mamoru. The love of her life.

_Dear Mom, Dad and Shingo_

_I'm sorry for putting you through hell the last past days. I tried to be happy, but the pain in my heart was too much. He was my life, my reason to live…_

_Please forgive me. And forgive him too. Take care of the girls, they will need you. I know you can and will love them as if they were your own daughters. I'm sorry for disappointing you, that was never my intention._

_I love you. You were the best parents anyone could wish for. I will always love you. Shingo, I love you too, even when you were a pain. Take care of Mum and Dad for me._

_Usagi._

_/_

When she got home, she was glad to find it empty. Her mother probably went to the market. Since she was supposed to be in the school, she had a lot of time to do this. And there was no one to stop her. Taking heavy steps toward her room, she looked at the pictures on the wall and the tears started to fall. This was a goodbye to everything familiar.

Entering her room, she put the letters in a visible place, then crawled into the warmth of her bed. She then proceeded empting the bottles, putting the pills next to her on the blanket. It was a big pile, but she managed to drink every one before closing her eyes for the last time. Half an hour later, she took her last breath and a single tear slided down her face.

On the other side of the town, Mamoru felt his heart shuttered in million pieces. Instantly, he knew something was wrong with Usagi and before he passed out in pain, he whispered her name. Chibiusa, who was with him, disappeared as if she never existed.

At the temple, four girls and two cats gathered after school. Rei went to the great fire, trying to find something that could help. She and the girls felt some kind of pain in their hearts. She watched as one bright light vanished, and soon Ami's computer beeped, showing the lack of Usagi's presence. They looked at each other, and in the same time spoke one word.

"Usagi."

Rei ran toward the telephone and called Usagi's house. Ikuko was just entering the house, caring the bags. Rei explained she felt something strange that involves Usagi. Ikuko, hearing that Usagi wasn't at school, went to check her room. Moment later, Rei heard a heartbreaking scream.

_Now what becomes of the brokenhearted  
Who had love that's now departed  
I know I've got to find  
Some kind of peace of mind  
_

/

The funeral was held three days later. There wasn't one person who didn't show up or shed a tear. It showed how much Usagi was loved. The priest gave a beautiful speech that left no one dry eyed.

Ikuko and Kenji tried to be brave, but when the coffin was in the ground, Ikuko dropped to her knees and started to cry her heart out.. That was the moment she realized she would never again see her daughter, never again hear her laugh, never see the light in her beautiful blue eyes…

She wasn't the only one. The girls and Mamoru were devastated too. The light of their life was gone. They were holding each other, sharing the strength, while Mamoru stayed behind. As soon as they heard the scream over the phone, three days ago, they knew. Usagi was gone. They ran toward Usagi's house, and tried to comfort Usagi's mother. Soon, Kenji and Shingo came home too. It was strange how they had a tear left in them. From that moment, they couldn't stop crying.

Soon, the people left, leaving only Usagi's parents and brother, the girls and Mamoru by the fresh grave. Mamoru was still in denial.

"You! You did this to our little girl! She is gone because of you!" Kenji snapped, finally seeing the black haired man, glaring at him with accusation.

Mamoru's eyes widened, and he looked at the girls, pleading. Finding the same feeling in their eyes, accusation and sorrow, he slowly walked away, feeling guiltier with every step. The letter that Shingo gave him before the service weighed like a tone of bricks in his pocket.

/

At the temple, Ami held the letter Usagi wrote for them. Shingo gave it to her before the service, and she noticed he gave the same thing to Mamoru. She couldn't force herself to even open it, let alone read it.

"I can't." She whispered.

Makoto looked at the girls around her and then at the letter. Minako and Ami were in no condition for anything. Rei was in her own world. Luna and Artemis were no better. She was tough. She was used to pain and grief. At least that was she told herself.

"I'll do it." She said, and after taking a long breath, started to read.

_Dear girls,_

_By the time you'll read this, I'll be probably be gone. I want you to understand one thing. I love you. I love you very much, with all my heart, but I just couldn't live without him, without his love. Please don't blame him. It's not his fault for not loving me. Love can't be forced. Either you love someone, either you don't. _

_I have a favor to ask you. Please stay together. Don't fall apart and take care of each other, take care of my family…even him._

_Rei – you are the leader now. Be strong for the rest of the girls. I have faith in you. And I'll be watching you, so be very careful or I will haunt you while you sleep._

_Makoto – talk to Motoki and tell him how you feel. Before it's too late. I have the feeling you won't be sorry._

_Ami – don't study too much. Go out and enjoy each day. Smell the roses, go skin dipping. _

_Mina – don't cry over me too much. This was my decision. And you, being the Goddess of love, know you can't live brokenhearted._

_Luna – thank you for everything, your guidance and love. You have been like a second mother to me and sometimes it may looked like I didn't appreciate you, but you do realize that's not the case. Don't you?_

_Artemis – you and Luna are now needed the most. Take care of the girls and Luna. She will need you now._

_Please don't be mad at me. For a while, I was loved and happy. I was blessed to be one of you, to be called your friend. Remember, your strength lies in your trust and friendship. I will watch over you, and love you forever and even after that._

_Your friend and sister, Usagi._

Makoto barely finished reading the letter. It was too much. She didn't even realized she was crying, and looking around, she wasn't the only one. They could feel Usagi's love for them in every word she wrote.

/

Mamoru slowly entered his apartment. He felt drained. He couldn't cry. Because, if he did that, he would admit that Usagi was really gone. He sat on the couch, and after few hours sitting there, looking in blank space, he finally forced himself to open the letter and read Usagi's last words.

_Dear Mamo-chan_

_I just can't call you Mamoru. You'll always be Mamo-chan for me. I guess, if you're reading this, I'll be long gone. I took an easy way out, I admit it, I just couldn't live without you and your love any more. You were right when you said I was week. _

_My heart belonged to you even since I threw that test paper on your head. When you called me Odango Atama, I was actually happy because it was the nickname you gave me. And only you called me like that. Well, until Rei and my brother started using it. When we found out about our past, about who we were, you my prince and I your princess, my heart was full. I felt complete for the first time in_ _my life. I thought you felt the same time. After all, you fought for me and I fought for you. But, I guess I was wrong. As you said yourself, who would want to be with a clumsy crybaby, even if we were soul mates from the past life? When you said you don't love me and that you've been with me only out of duty, my heart shuttered. I saw in your eyes that you really mean it. I'm sorry I was such a burden to you, as you put it. From now on you are free of me. I wish you all the luck and love you could find. _

_I have only one favor to ask you. Please look after the girls, and always protect them._

_Goodbye my love._

_Usagi _

When Mamoru finished reading the letter all the emotions he held inside, break through. After three days of denial and no crying, he was finally doing just that.

The guilt, sorrow, and the pain ripped his heart. He couldn't breath. He felt empty and broken.

"Oh Usako! I do love you! This wasn't supposed to end this way. And you didn't even give me the chance to follow you!"

Only the sun, that appeared the next day, could see a broken man lying on the floor, crying his heart out, griping the letter and a photo of an blonde woman with two pigtails, close to his chest, as if that two items were the most precious thing in his life.

_I'll be searching everywhere  
Just to find someone to care  
I'll be looking every day  
I know I'm gonna find a way  
Nothing's gonna stop me now  
I will find a way somehow_


End file.
